People judge others and that is their downfall.

Three years into running my own business, I realised that there was a group of people that I easily related to and did business with.

Simultaneously, there was another group of people that I didn't understand or got along with.

Because I was spinning my wheels with the latter, I called them "tire kickers", "time wasters", "bean counters", etc.

What I didn't realise at the time was that I was setting myself up for failure in advance. I shut my heart to them, which caused a disconnect. 

Think of two people being on different radio frequencies. They aren't tuning in with one another.

I wasn't getting anywhere with them and made them wrong for it.

What a coward I was.

We fail to relate to someone and blame them for our inability and lack of skills.

It is the easy way out to make someone else be "the bad one" so that we can feel better about ourselves.

How often do you point a finger at someone else like I did?

Every time you do,...

It's relevant when you seek new employment and try to land the dream job with the right pay.

It's equally relevant when you trade time for money as a consultant, coach, freelancer or business advisor. Your hourly rate shows how much (or little) you value yourself.

It's applicable for business owners who are ready to exit their business and communicate with interested parties for the right exit fee.

And finally, it definitely is relevant when you are in BD or sales and negotiate favourable terms, volume and profit margins.

The point is: almost everything can be captured with a financial number, which then begs the question:

How comfortable are you in asking for and receiving the number you want, time and time again?

If you are 100% comfortable talking about money, terrific! Well done  

There still is one golden gate which is potentially locked for you.

I call this gate the science and art of effective communication.

The word that matters most is "effective". It means that you...

Do people ever compliment you on your energy?

Do you find it easy to hold your ground and stand up for yourself without becoming rude or aggressive?

What about negotiating... Do you do so with confidence and a positive outcome most of the time?

There is one thing that underpins all of them: personal power.

You either have it or you give your power away.

I remember this occasion where I shaped my destiny with one personal choice I made.

It goes back many years. I was in the car with my uncle. He was grooming me to take over the family business from him. 

The problem was...

I didn't like how he treated people, especially my mother (his sister). He  was full of contempt. 

In addition, he was extremely manipulative. I knew that I would become a puppet of his so that he could still keep control. 

That day in the car, I said to him "Uncle Jan, I will create my own future. I won't take over the family business."

There. I said it.

In some respect, it pained me to say so...

Last night, I watched an episode of Suits on Netflix. If you don't know this series, it's about a top end NY law firm. Very entertaining! 

Anyway, one of the name partners, Louis Litt, turned out to be bullied in school. He lacked the ability to stand up for himself.

It occurred to me that at one stage, most people have had a similar painful experience in which they felt out of control and gave in to someone else.

Sounds familiar?

I bet it does. I’ve been there too.

Time to become a superhero!

Learn how to become more conscious and assertive in my new video training

Consciousness and assertiveness are the third out of twenty elements that make up your emotional intelligence (in short: EI or EQ). 

Because we can measure it, we can transform it.

We also know that there is a fine balance between been blunt and borderline aggressive on one hand, and overly pleasing and submissive on the other. 

An assertive person has developed the ability to say their truth while...

Most probably, you have met business leaders whose behaviour truly put you off, without them even knowing. Right?

You also might have met salespeople who made you feel really awkward as a client and still be completely oblivious to your emotional experience...

I certainly remember how I kept repeating a destructive pattern until well into my thirties before I became more self-aware. Only then, did I make a commitment to make a change for the better.

Self-awareness is one of twenty subcategories of emotional intelligence. 

Because we can measure it, we can transform it.

Watch my second video in this series on EQ

Why would you watch it?

• Great leaders have developed high levels of EQ
• Exceptional sales professionals, especially those in the top 10%, have high levels of EQ
• People that society perceives as unique role models and human beings tend to display high levels of EQ

The opposite is true too: poor leaders, average salesmen and women, and questionable citizens tend to stay...

Time to get personal!

Since March 2020, I noticed that many people got a beating. That is: emotionally speaking.

It made me launch a new series on emotional intelligence (EI or EQ in short). I'll show you what it consists of and how you build each element of it.

In the first video, we'll look at building self-appreciation, self-acceptance and self-confidence.

Golden nuggets - and yes - next time the small video will actually show my full face!!

Watch the new training here

Interesting times, for sure!

Looking forward to reading your comments and questions. Just select the Facebook button.

Note: even if no one else cares about you - the last man/woman standing should be you. 

Is it time to build your self-esteem?

Let me know.

Bram Lagrou
Author of Selling is out. Create buy-in
Creator of Communication Mastery, Business Development Academy and Digital Business Development Formula
Lead facilitator of Gold Membership
EQ Coach

As promised, Tom, I hereby fill you in on the very changes that I am making to be of greater service to you.

Needless to remind you that times are difficult: jobs are drying up, there is social distancing until we will all have to stay home, people are unwell, etc. 

While this can easily bring us down, it is my job to provide guidance, cheer you up and show you the various opportunities to make the most of the situation so that you can still thrive NOW.

As a reminder, we will be spending more time at home in the coming weeks and months... Whether you like it or not. We will have more time at hands. I suggest we invest a portion of that time in "meaningful" activities. 

One, for sure, is to deepen your relationship with people you care about. Family, friends, clients. Skype, FaceTime and WhatsApp are our ally. We all need human connection and feel loved.

Secondly, we want to look after ourselves. Only when we are in a good place within (mentally,...

“Know thyself” professed the Oracle of Delphi.

Tools such as DISC and EQ assessments help us see more clearly through the maze of our own functioning.

Isn’t it interesting that the most revered and inspiring business leaders have coaches and trusted advisors, while they also read on average one book per week?

The underlying message is clear: as long as we feed our mind with mental protein, we grow.

Conversely, by feeding our mind with mental candy, we shrink.

And we have our hands on the steering wheel, Captain!

Secret tool number five: your K/S base.

Looking into the very knowledge and skills necessary to succeed in the world of business development and sales today:

1. Planning: knowing your numbers and how to allocate your time to get the best return on your investment is the master skill of success.
2. Self management: this is your ability to manage your thoughts, feelings and actions to do what it takes. You implement your plan while keeping your ideal end in sight....