Transcript

Hi everyone!

My name is Bram Lagrou and in today's video we're going to talk about pretentiousness versus self-esteem.

It's really important that as you are looking around you (even for yourself), certain people are going to try to look like something and other people will just be something.

Two examples:

One person tries to be a good leader but you can tell it's really fake, and another person just is a great charismatic leader and people follow them easily because they trust them in the two scenarios there you can see that one is trying but not really and might not be in it for the right reasons while the second one is in the right place and frame of mind, is it for the right reasons, wants to do well and therefore people come along because they trust. That's one example.

A second example is about being successful - whatever “success” might look like. It might be successful in a relationship. It might be successful in terms of financial success and wealth generation. All sorts of things. Well, some people will try to look like it and other people will actually just be it.

Once again, one is about being pretentious and is really all about ego, which means they're not necessarily feeling that they are already there; they're not necessarily feeling like a leader... They're not necessarily feeling wealthy… They're not necessarily feeling successful… whilst the others just are a

great leader and already feel successful and are already building their wealth.

Now the two really are important to contrast because what you tend to see is that people when they really are trying, they will really go out of their way to demonstrate it to you to find your approval.

You might do the same. You might try to seek to have other people like you and give you compliments and they give you the pat on the back… You might have these pleasing habits yourself already just to seek approval from other people.

Now, if you're caught in that, it's not necessarily a recipe that is going to make you happy and it's probably not even going to help you to become successful all together because you're coming from a space of lack.

Of course, the same happens for other people if people are trying to demonstrate that they're already successful, wealthy, happy in their relationship or whatever it might be.

If they're trying to really put it in your face or you're trying to put it in other people's faces you're basically coming from a place of desperation. It’s a place of lack where you are coming from.

There is still a perceived gap and that gap is a void that we're trying to fill by having other people say “good on you”.

I learned once from a wise person that you can always seek for external validation or give yourself internal permission.

So again, compare the two: the first one comes from a place of desperation and almost victimization… where you behave like a victim and the second case is one where you are coming from a space of self-empowerment where you are a true leader of self and where you're not really concerned about what other people think or say around you, about you.

The two, of course, are two worlds apart. It's a matter of choice and when you are aware of it, you can do something about it.

Whenever I catch myself seeking someone’s approval, I personally like repeating the mantra that says “I give myself internal permission over external approval”.

It's something that i tell myself to train my brain to act and think in the way that I want to act so that i can get high performance, so that i can serve better, so that i can enjoy better, be more happy and actually do the things that really set me on fire.

That’s important to me and it might be important to you too.

I’d love to see what you guys are doing with this… So hit that like button, write me a comment below and tell me what you think of all this…

How have you been tripped up once in a while over time?

How do you easily you know look for external validation?

Do you have other people doing this around you and how does it make you feel when they are trying to seek your approval just to in an attempt to feel better about themselves?

Let me know below this video and also check out the free resources that i make available below this video.

Again, if you haven't subscribed yet subscribe now and let me know your thoughts. Hit that like button and I'll see you again soon. My name is Bram.